![\"\"](\"https:\/\/paulettejiles.com\/pj_wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/apocalypse-300x187-300x187.jpg\")
<\/p>\nIt has been years since I’ve seen this and just recently refound it. There was nothing as funny as the old National Lampoon.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Deteriorata – National Lampoon<\/p>\n
Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
\nAnd remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
\nAvoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
\nRotate your tires.
\nSpeak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
\nAnd heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
\nKnow what to kiss, and when.
\nConsider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do.
\nWherever possible, put people on hold.
\nBe comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
\nand despite the changing fortunes of time,
\nThere is always a big future in computer maintenance.<\/p>\n
Remember The Pueblo.
\nStrive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
\nKnow yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
\nExercise caution in your daily affairs,
\nEspecially with those persons closest to you –
\nThat lemon on your left, for instance.
\nBe assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
\nWould scarcely get your feet wet.
\nFall not in love therefore. It will stick to your face.
\nGracefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan.
\nAnd let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
\nHire people with hooks.
\nFor a good time, call 606-4311. Ask for Ken.
\nTake heart in the bedeepening gloom
\nThat your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
\nAnd reflect that whatever fortune may be your lot,
\nIt could only be worse in Milwaukee.<\/p>\n
You are a fluke of the universe.
\nYou have no right to be here.
\nAnd whether you can hear it or not,
\nThe universe is laughing behind your back.<\/p>\n
Therefore, make peace with your god,
\nWhatever you perceive him to be – hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.
\nWith all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
\nThe world continues to deteriorate.
\nGive up!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
It has been years since I’ve seen this and just recently refound it. There was nothing as funny as the old National Lampoon. Deteriorata – National Lampoon Go placidly amid the noise and waste, And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof. Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1244","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulettejiles.com\/pj_wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1244","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulettejiles.com\/pj_wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulettejiles.com\/pj_wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulettejiles.com\/pj_wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulettejiles.com\/pj_wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1244"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/paulettejiles.com\/pj_wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1244\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1246,"href":"https:\/\/paulettejiles.com\/pj_wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1244\/revisions\/1246"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/paulettejiles.com\/pj_wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1244"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulettejiles.com\/pj_wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1244"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/paulettejiles.com\/pj_wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1244"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}